DOES SHE KNOW YOU LOVE HER?

I am a husband. I am a young husband, only married for about four and a half years. Good husband am I? Not always but I say “I do love my wife and family!” Does Shannon know that? That’s something you’ll have to ask Shannon if you ever meet her. It has been said to me, by brethren who’ve been married 20/30 years plus, that our marriage has gone through what took many years for theirs to go through. I am not going to say that is so. I have no idea what’s in store ahead for my wife and I. Out of all the fights and disagreements, sins and mistakes I have committed, I can truly san I know that my wife loves me. Why? She has not left me. Shannon does love me naturally for who I am, and I had no idea that she did until I begin praying to the Lord Jesus about our marriage. She would have long gone left me without Jesus, but thanks to the Lord Jesus Christ. She has loved me with the love of God. She shows this continually to me even in our worst of arguments. Not by her words, by her actions! Does Shannon know that I love her? She should know if it matches the most loved scripture for both husbands and wives:

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:21-33 KJV)

So again I ask myself, “does my wife know that I love her?” I said earlier that I did, but that is based of how I feel about her. But what does the Bible say should be the sign of a husband truly loving his wife. Let’s look at Ephesians 5:25:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, (Ephesians 5:25 NASB)

By careful observation, the husband is to love his wife just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. The Greek word for love (agapao) is used in this verse twice, as Christ is the example of the love a husband should emulate to his beloved. So in looking at the transliteration of this word we find that it means: to love, beloved, of a person - to be fond of , to love dearly, to welcome. This type of love is one that expresses the essential nature of God Himself (1 John 4:8). This is not a love that is exercised by impulse of feelings (I feel like loving today because she looks good) nor given for self-pleasing motives. This is a love that is focused on the welfare of others (Romans 15:2).

Jesus Christ is the best example of this type of love which the scriptures command us to give to our wives. The receiver of this love is not determined based on who or what they are, it is freely given. Check out how Jesus Christ lavished this type of love upon us:

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd. (Matthew 9:36)

The LORD did not set his love upon you, nor choose you, because ye were more in number than any people; for ye were the fewest of all people: But because the LORD loved you, and because he would keep the oath which he had sworn unto your fathers, hath the LORD brought you out with a mighty hand, and redeemed you out of the house of bondmen, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt. (Deuteronomy 7:7-8)

Amazing huh and that is just a few scriptures that exemplify this type of love. Now the question comes; “Is this the love that your wife sees?” Does your wife see you sacrificing for her? Or does she see you trying to defend your pride and tell of how great a husband you are? Or does she see you fulfilling the law of God by loving her unconditionally? Not being her little waiter, but serving her truly in love. Do you know what your wife really needs? How is your wife doing in her walk with Christ? Do you know and help her in such areas? If a member of the Body of Christ was to ask her what you were teaching in devotional time with your wife, would she be able to answer with assurance? Come on, if you love her in this manner as Ephesians 5:25 says, then this should be a no brainer right?

I have had to take a hard look to see do I show this type of love. If I do, Shannon surely should be able verify of this love. Does your wife know that you love her? How? Does she know because she sees you, loving her like Christ Jesus loved and loves us, the Church?

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. (Colossians 3:19)

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)

BONUS:
A sermon from Pastor Thomas Leake, check it out: A Fathers Who Love Their Children’s Mother